the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
