he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize