it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
