No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
This toilet bowl is my home.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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