i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Is it because I queefed?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
