Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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