I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
