He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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