At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
i now understand why vodka
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
