the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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