We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Randomize
