Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
