Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Non-Jews are for practice
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Randomize
