We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I think people are normalizing furries
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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