My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Randomize
