Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
