On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
