i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
