I'm sorry my penis didn't work
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
