Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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