it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
