I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Randomize
