We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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