Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
