I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
