Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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