When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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