ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
this hospital has no fireball
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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