My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
