When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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