her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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