Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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