you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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