so that wasnt chicken after all
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
