Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
