She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
