remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
