he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
