is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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