Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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