It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
