You're so nebulous sometimes
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
