4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
