Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
