the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
