what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I need a burrito and a hug.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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