I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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