I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
