How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
