so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
